Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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