I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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