I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
