I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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