If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
