The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
