You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
