why didn't you poke me back
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
