He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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