I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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