we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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