If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
