Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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