Slut skills are useful in every country.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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