If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
