She's JV to your varsity
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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