i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
