Sponge bath it is.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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