Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
