should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
