Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
