I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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