I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Congratulations! We have a period
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
