Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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