I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
