Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
