I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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