Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
