Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
