Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did you pee in the oven last night??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
