shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
