the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
