Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
