It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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