ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
