i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize