Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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