Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
