I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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