So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
