I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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