pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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