David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
