maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
