my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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