At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
