Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
