No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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