i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
