im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
