At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ugly people sure do ruin things
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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