I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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