I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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