This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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