I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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