it hurts more in the daytime
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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